In order to be ready when the time comes to implement my plan of world domination, I must keep my body precision-tuned, finely honed, and action ready. I do this in many ways. My fellow felines, feel free to try my patented exercise regime at no cost to you. Mere humanoids will soon be trembling in fear of you. Just follow these three simple steps and soon, you will be ready to join my army.

Step One: Get an idiot. The idiot who lives with me is an idiot, but he is very fast. It is very gratifying to sneak up on him, make him jump three feet in the air, and then go tearing off after him. I am able to run the quarter mile in 8.3 seconds. He is also convenient to have as a sparing partner. When I bite him in the face, he knows that is the signal to wrestle and with my massive muscle ridden girth, I easily subdue him by backing my rear end into him.

Step Two: Do spring drills. To keep my hind legs powerful, and my balance impeccable, I like to jump up on anything I can find. The machines that do the washings and dryings, the counter in the food place, the counter in the wet box place, the comfy furniture, my perch, tables, chairs, windowsills. I especially like the little stands in the room with the wet box. The humanoid yells when I jump up on these things, but I pay her little heed, for when I am up on the little stand, I can stretch my glorious body up to the green plant thing on the wall. It tastes like my plastic food dish, but I do not care. I still want to chew it. It is crunchy.

Step Three: Keep claws sharp. This is the most difficult to get away with if living with humanoids. I do nott scratch my perch, for it is mine and I don't want to damage it. I really enjoy sharpening my weapon of choice on the comfy furniture, the bottom of the sleeping furniture, the door frame, and the floor carpet. I like to wait to use my favorite scratcher until the humanoid is sleeping. Then I reach up beside her and use the curtain. Sometimes this wakes the humanoid, but I wait until she has rolled back over and do it again. It is best to wait until the humanoids are very tired so they just ignore the scratching and try to sleep.

These three steps, combined with hearty diet and a 22 hour rest period will put you in the proper shape. Oh, you will not look as awesomely handsome as me, but you will certainly be ready to join my ranks. When the call comes to arms, will you be ready?